RELATIONSHIPS: SPIRITUAL DIFFERENCES.

All of the categories in this series of articles are things a person should consider when searching for a mate.
A good solution to avoiding problems is to write a list that describes what you want in a partner. Once you have your list written down, arrange it in order of importance. As I write these articles I'll arrange them in order of what I feel (after over 30 years of marriage) is most important. You may feel certain things are more important than what I put down, but this is something that can guide you if you really don't know. 

One of the most important things to consider when entering a relationship that you hope will take you into a marriage is you and your partner's spiritual differences. When you are physically and emotionally attracted to someone, your ability to analyze what is best for you can go out the window. This is why you should always look first for someone to date who fills the bill in most of the important areas of your life.


Many people may not think of spiritual differences as a subject that is most important, but I can assure you it is. This is something that should be approached on the first date, or better yet, before dating has even begun. Not only should you find out where they stand spiritually, but as a Christian, you should not even date an unbeliever. Once you start dating, and your romantic interest finds out that this is important to you, it is common for people to feign a spiritual life to hold on to their love interest. This happened to someone I know, and though they are still married after many years, life has been a little short of hell for the person who thought they were marrying a Christian.  

Your whole life philosophy centers around your spiritual beliefs no matter what they are. 

In another case, a young woman who was brought up christian and married a Muslim found herself with many conflicts that couldn't be settled. As time went on in their marriage, she found she was afraid to have children because of the possibility that he could take their child and return to his country, never mind the fact that he would not allow their children to be raised to know about the Christian faith. This was something that she did not think out when she first married him. The marriage ended in divorce. 

Beyond the problems of marrying someone who is of a different faith, or is not a believer at all, is the differences within your faith. Within the Christian religion there are vast differences in how they approach their beliefs. Are they someone that was born into a family that goes to church, but has never made a personal commitment?  Do they prefer a formal church or a more modern church with worship bands? Are they very traditional in their worship or do they prefer a more charismatic approach? Are they members of a "spirit filled" denomination? Do they believe once you are saved you are always saved? Are they very grace oriented or do they believe in sanctification where one much constantly work at being good enough? Are they judgmental of other people's spiritual walk, or do they believe everyone grows at different rates and in different areas. All of these questions are something to consider. 

If these matters have not been settled in your own mind, then you are not ready to marry. These are things you need to have settled within yourself before you include another person in a relationship that will be permanently in your life.

Paul Little's books did a lot for me in helping me to narrow down what I really believed as has Watchman Nee's, Sit Walk Stand. 


It is important to know who you are and to become a whole person before you bind yourself to another in marriage. Some people say married life should be 50/50, however, more often it requires 100 % of yourself. Do you love the person enough to give all of what you are? 


It doesn't always mean you have no life of your own, or that you can't enjoy life, but you don't know what life holds and what problems could come your way. Be prepared. If God calls you to marriage, you can give what you need to and he will give you what you need.