QUESTIONS TO ASK IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP

When entering a new relationship is it wise to find out how each other feels about as much as possible. This will avoid problems later. When my husband and I met we had both been married once before and had some idea of what we wanted in a relationship; luckily for us they were very similar.


Things to consider:

• Spiritual Differences
• Raising Children (expectations of involvement and discipline issues)
• Money (who handles what and how)
• Goals (short and long term)
• Commitment (expectations)
• Sex (expectations)
• Planning for the Future
• Interests
• Extended Family
• Where to Live
• Retirement

I will address all of these in their own post. There is probably more than I can't think of I will add as we go along. No matter whether you are starting in a relationship that is a first time for both of you or if one or both of you have "been there before," all of these topics will need to be addressed; the sooner the better. My  husband and I did have a lot of these issues settled before we got married, but not all of them were and of course the ones that we had to settle later ended up being a source of contention. We were committed to our relationship though and being fully committed enables you to work through the areas of disagreement.


Compromise and understanding are necessary in reaching a place where common ground can be found. I found it very helpful to just "give it to God" to fix areas when I was frustrated. I felt that if He put us together, He needed to fix it. One key in giving it to God though, is being willing to be the one to change or apologize if that is what He requires; and sometimes that has happened.

Marriage is a life of giving. You need to feel that you want to make that person happy, and not feel like it is your spouses job to make you happy. You will derive happiness from the relationship, but it cannot be up to the other person to fulfill that need for you. It is something you need to find from within. It is best if you are whole and happy without being in a relationship; then you will have a source from which to give to another.