LITTLE ONES

When is the right time to start discipline? That is a question we discussed at a family dinner. Our granddaughter is starting to show her temper. Like all little ones, in the beginning life is all about number one—them.


Whether in a store having fun, a special playtime with an opportunity for new toys or not wanting to go where their parents need them to; it can be a myriad of reasons; they want what they want, when they want it.


With two sets of grandparents you would think we would have very different philosophies in child rearing, but we don't. We all agree that you need to get an early start on discipline. If you get them trained early you don't have to work so hard at it later on.


I don't think you need to spank little ones much at the age of one, but a couple of swats on the behind when they are throwing temper tantrums and a long with a serious talking to, is not child abuse and can thwart monumental problems later on. "They won't understand what you are saying to them." you might say. However, a child's receptive knowledge is much greater than their speaking ability. Even if they can't understand everything you say, they can understand that you are serious about what just happened. It is a learning opportunity for them.

When I say "give them a good taking to" I am not saying to "yell" at them. That is not productive communication, but sitting down and talking to them sincerely and seriously, explaining to them why throwing tantrums is unacceptable behavior "is" productive. They are constantly learning more words, intonation and ways to communicate. The will know that you care about them, they will know that what they did is not a desired response, and eventually they will understand every word you say.


Another important aspect of communication with your child is to get direct eye contact. I learned this from a friend who was babysitting her granddaughter many years ago. She always said, "Look at my eyes." when she was disciplining her grandchild. I could see through observation that it was a way of getting the child's full attention.


Finally we should never leave God out of the equation. When my son was little he was acting up in Sunday School Class. The teacher was telling me about it and she told me that she prayed with him. She told me he prayed sincerely with her. He was only three. God can guide us as we endeavor to lead our children in lives to be good, loving, happy eternal beings. We are given a great responsibility when we are blessed with children; one that should not be taken lightly. We love them so much, we hate to spank them, chastise them because we do love them, but the ultimate love will look beyond the moment and realize we are their guardians for life.

Our wisdom is not always God's wisdom. I remember when my youngest son was about a year and a half old, he started throwing temper tantrums. I thought that if I just ignored him and didn't give it attention he would soon get tired of it and quit, but at that moment when he was on the ground screaming, crying and kicking the ground and I was trying to ignore it, God whispered to me to give him a spanking, and told me "Stop it now."  My son was so young and skinny. I hated doing it, but I was obedient to God and gave him two or three swats telling him that throwing fits was unacceptable behavior. His attitude changed right away and as I sensed that  I comforted him and softly told him that God did not want him to throw tantrums. I made a vow to try and pay attention to the whispers of God while raising my children.


All children are different. What will work for one, may not work for another, but God knows their inner being and knows what will work. If you listen he will speak these things to your heart.